Why I shoot Boudoir | My "Why"
Updated: Oct 22, 2022
Life is a beautiful journey with all its ups and downs. Spectacular really! I have come to learn that downs are simply self-regulating triggers to change something about yourself, your path, environment and, sometimes, to completely reinvent yourself. I am now living probably the 5th iteration of myself, fifth chapter in a way. And this stage is deeply connected with what I do for work. My work just HAD to have a meaning that deeply resonated with what I'm about today and completed the picture.
They say we choose what circumstances we are born to. And mine were certainly interesting. At 35 I felt like I've lived multiple lifetimes. And now at 45 I can add one more to the list. What do all these iterations have in common? TRANSFORMATIONS. I had to learn to stand up for my values, escape war, learn to become self sufficient, build a successful career in IT, climb the corporate latter, learn how to deal with toxic relationships, draw and respect my boundaries, attract an amazing relationship, and manifest many seemingly impossible dreams into life. And I had to do all that lovingly, gracefully, without becoming bitter and wasting all the wisdom gifted to me within each experience. And then help others pass the same bridge.
Rewind to 10 years ago. I am married to my dream man. We welcomed the most perfect child into this beautiful world. I thought I arrived. Everything I dreamed about came together into one beautiful painting. And just like that, just when I thought I arrived, Universe had a different plan for me. Within one year I completely lost myself. I lost my spark, my figure, my health, my peace of mind, my confidence, my self-worth. I watched one disappointment after another pass through me and challenge every fiber of my being. Time for another transformation. I left my career of 15 years and to the shock of my parents, I decided to do something more creative. I set myself free from a hierarchy of unreasonable family-unfriendly bosses consuming my precious 60 hours every week. That was the first step. Now I had time to sit and contemplate. What was missing? Photography made me happy. But it wasn't fulfilling. It had to be something else. Days turned into months and then into years. Years of wondering in the parallel universe of unfulfillment while having your seemingly dream life in your possession. Ironic, isn't it.
So what was missing? Seems like just when I arrived, the Universe wanted me to crumble in order to reinvent myself and learn the most valuable lesson yet: Self Love. Yes. That was it. Ever since I was a small child, i was told loving yourself is selfish. I was told that a grown woman giving her self much significance is a selfish one. And unattractive. Basically, if I was not constantly occupying myself with office work and serving at home, you know, the "meaningful" stuff, life was vein. My husband persistently tried to un-tech that, but I guess I needed to face all kinds of emotional crisis and health problems to wake up from this strange dream and start loving the body I am living in, the soul that I curated over the years, and the mind I invested a whole lot of discipline in developing. And most important of them all: it wasn't until I started honoring it all that my feminine powers started to return to me. I threw myself into all kinds of transformational work. Working on my blocks, my childhood programming, psychosomatics, meditation, karmic management, forgiveness, letting go, studying, learning, digging deeper and deeper and yet deeper. It was exhilarating!
Somewhere along that journey, Boudoir genre fell into my lap. I discovered that I am good at it. Like really good at it. I can transform women into new states of self love. In the few hours I interact with them, I can guide them into moods and poses that bring the magic out of them. From somewhere inside them. It isn't faked. It's not photoshopped. It's right there on the back on my camera as I click the shutter and turn the camera around so that she can meet herself in the way she hasn't seen or felt for a long time (or ever). This part feels so effortless to me. So beautiful. Fulfilling (here comes the missing element, remember?). And as I see the rebirth of Venus happening in front of me, I myself make a step forward to self love. As I watch each woman heal, I too heal. As I am able to touch another woman's soul in this vulnerable intimate level, I too see my transformation progress, one client at a time, one spark at a time. And this, my friends, is why I do Boudoir! For the Transformations. I am on a mission to empower women into self-love! Boudoir to me is Visual Poetry.
I love getting texts the day after the shoot saying "I dont know what happened yesterday, but I can tell you I will never be the same again. Thank you!" I am deeply grateful to every woman who found me and chose to work with me. Now we glow together. And I found an outlet for all the wisdom I accumulated over the decades. Turns out, it didn't leave me, it just needed a purpose in order to be.
If you have read this far, something about my story had to resonate with you. If you are ready to see your best self, if you are ready to shift your feminine energy for good, or if you want to reinforce the version of yourself you have been working on, I invite you to my studio. Experience this beautiful process from planning, daydreaming your creations, the makeover, the shoot, designing your artwork, and finally sprinkling them around you home so that you can be reminded of your beautiful (inside and out!) self every single day. Be your own inspiration in life. Be your own MUSE.
Not ready to contact me yet? Join my private Facebook group. Follow me along. See other women's transformation. Get to know me. And when you are ready, give me a call!